Friday, 8 October 2010

cluelessness

My Mum had a sort of dinner party tonight with all her professional friends, and my Dad had a beer or two with the husbands of said professional friends. I spent the night with 'the men' who were regaling each other with anecdotes of hilarious moments in their professional lives and all this seemed to do was remind me....

I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life.

The worst thing is that, and I mean that as literally as possible, I have absolutely no clue. The worst advice I get about this problem is 'well everyone one is clueless, no one knows what the want to do at your age' and that's complete bollocks! If it were true everyone I went to college with would be spending their friday nights with middle aged men thinking 'what the hell should I do with myself?' But they don't. They have all left to go to university and get on with the next section of their existence, which is more than I can say I've done.

I apologise for ranting but this is the kind of thing that keeps me awake until 12:30 and beyond in the morning every night (which on a completely unrelated note is the time I'm writing this blog entry) and it's killing me. The biggest problem is I'm a compulsive planner, I'm not good at spontaneity, everything must have a plan at any given time, so this level of uncertainty is my worst nightmare and I'm living it everyday.

I realise I probably need some help with this, but for now I'm just going to watch Scrubs because it makes me feel better.

2 comments:

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  2. I am the deleted post above btw. It's Will >.<

    Just thought i'd point out that your friends who are going to uni, like myself, are only there because it's the easiest way to utilize the next 3 - 8 years without having to work out exactly what you're going to do. I'm turning 20 soon, studying English literature, and I don't know any better than you do as to what i'll be doing in a few years time.

    What do you enjoy, Chris? Do that. If it's not already a career, make it one. Lazy options aren't allowed though. Unless you decide to do an Arts degree at uni like me. ;)

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